On Love

I’m sure that every one of us has answered this proverbial question at least once in our lives: ‘what is love?’. Is love really like in the movies? Is love really all about the romantic first kisses? The long walks by the beach and the romantic proposals? Is love really about all the happily-ever afters? Is that really love?

I admit that I’m a very big fan of chic flicks. I really enjoy watching all those films about the fun, fearless girl who seemingly finds her dream guy while living a dream life in a Manhattan penthouse. In fact, one of my favorite movie characters is Andie Andersen from How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, a Columbia journalism graduate who works for one of the biggest lifestyle magazines in New York City in the film. It’s thanks to movie characters like Andie that girls like me have found ideals: fictional role models that allow us to dream big and work hard to achieve those dreams.

But then, it is not the female heroine or the male lead that we’re talking about here. It is the story.  Movies have this very bad habit of portraying exaggerated plots when it comes to love. Majority of the movies that are successful are the types of films that exaggerate relationships and happy endings, and unfortunately because of twisted ideals like this people (particularly girls) end up perceiving love the way they see it in films. They end up living their lives with these ideals as their basis and most of them become unlucky in love because of their beliefs. But then, why blame movies for our love woes if we clearly have this choice to live life and find love, true, unblemished, untarnished love, without the help of some fictional date doctor’s advice (sorry, Hitch) :D.?

Having grown up watching a lot of these films, I have to say early on I fell for all the stuff I saw in films. I believed everything. I had this bad habit of perceiving that every friendship I would ever have with a guy would end up as a potential relationship. I hoped and dreamed for the ‘fate’ moments that would come at the most unlikely times, and I hoped still… even when they didn’t come. Sure, there were times I felt my heart break, but then the heartbroken girl always found someone in movies, didn’t she? So I hoped, and hoped, and hoped… to no frutition. I despised love.

It was only when I grew up did I realize just how wrong movies were. Love doesn’t happen in a matter of a few weeks or a few months. Sometimes love can take years. Also, love doesn’t always come as soon as we expect it to. We grow up with this perception that the same guy we go to with prom will end up being the father to our children, when we’re wrong. Some of us eventually end up marrying the one we grew up hating, or the chubby best friend we never saw in a different light. That’s the beauty of life, and of love. Everything is so unpredictable it makes us crazy… but then, it makes us excited, too.

So, the question is: what is love? Here’s what I think.

Love Is Blind. No matter how proverbial or how cliche, this is a phrase that rings true. When we’re infatuated with someone, we can’t help but be blind to the other things around us. We see only him/her, and nothing else.

Love Is Never Having To Say You’re Sorry. WRONG. If you truly love someone, what wrong is there in apologizing at the moments when an apology is merited?

Love Is Peripheral Vision without Blinds. It’s seeing the one you love but never forgetting that there are other people that are important in your life. They may not share prominence in your life, but never forget to remember the other people in your life.

Love Is Knowing That The Truth Hurts. Never lie to someone you love, because there will come that time when that lie may end up hurting them in the end.

Love Is Giving More Than Material Gifts. Real love is about being there when the one you love needs you the most. Material presents may be temporary peace offerings, but the best gift when times are rough is a loving kiss and a sweet hug. 🙂

Love Is All You Need.  Because even if you have everything you want in the world, it’s nothing without someone to share it with.

Love Is Not Needing A Calendar For The Important Days. Why keep a calendar on your desk or on your phone? True love is about knowing birthdays and anniversaries by heart, and never failing to be the first person to greet him/her on Facebook once the clock strikes twelve.

 

 

 

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