I’ll probably never find you, but in case fate is kind to me in this first lifetime… here goes.
First of all, I couldn’t be more thankful that you even exist. There have been several points in my life when I’ve doubted I would be as lucky as those around me. My friends have gone on to marriages less than ten years after college, and yet here I am: single, stressed and alone. A part of me always wondered whether there was something wrong with me. There were times when I would look at myself in the mirror and scrutinize every inch of my face in hopes of finding the reason behind my unattractiveness. Was there a pimple I didn’t notice? An ugly scar perhaps?. I was this close to calling myself an old maid before you came along. So, thank you for that.
Secondly, thank you for accepting me and loving me just the way I am. I know that there are more beautiful and smart girls out there, and yet here you are, settling down with someone like me. I’m sorry for talking like this again, but you know how it was for me growing up. I’ve never been the most confident girl in the world: especially when it comes to my appearance and my personality.
No one in my life has been more supportive and more encouraging to me. You saw me as beautiful when the only thing I worried about was the fact that I couldn’t fit into anything. I remember that time you laughed at me when I told you I was conscious about the pimple that had grown on my cheek. Instead of handing me the cream on my dresser, you threw it in the trash and kissed me, telling me that it didn’t matter. “You’re still the most beautiful girl in the world to me,” you whispered then. That was the sweetest thing someone’s ever told me. That’s how I knew you were the One.
I know that life has its uncertainties and fate is never kind. But even when things close their eyes to the possibility of happening, there’s nothing wrong in embracing hope.
This is what I leave you with: a message of certainty. I know I’ve said much but even I know that the possibility of this reality lacks a certain probability. Just know that if ever I do meet you, and if ever things do go through as planned…or even if they don’t, I’ll always be hopeful. Even when it seems like my life will reach its fated end.
A Certain Hopeful Dreamer